eaux de vies

is the grass always greener?...or does it not reek of kimchi as much as your side?

2009-11-19T20:57:00.000-08:00

15 months down...9 more to go? is this how i will be spending my days in korea? i don't know if it's a bad combination of gastrointestinal problems finally catching up to me, unpleasant week of bronchitis, and a lingering unbalance of classroom "power", but i'm THISCLOSE to buying my return ticket home and calling it quits here. i have become this absolutely caustic individual who's constantly snapping at people and her students. i've reached a new level of bitterness in korea that i've never felt before, and it's quite scary.

i no longer find humor in the most awkward situations (which there are many when you live in this socially inept country), and i'm finding myself constantly criticizing this kind society for their social short-comings.

but when i think of going back home, what do i have there that will fully satisfy me? family? good (real) food? better climbing? better attitudes?

or maybe this is all a really, really bad case of "grass is greener on the other side" and i need a break from the korean peninsula? oh yeah, that's right. i'm not allowed out of the country until the end of my contract...in august.

chair patrol

2009-11-02T15:52:00.000-08:00

I wish I could say that "chair patrol" or "desk warmer" is a cool new name for a band, but alas, it's the description of what I'm doing this week in school. As a means to slow down the transmission of the "cheeson plu", i.e. "the swine flu", the Korean gov't has decided to shut down the majority of schools this week. Whether or not it's effective has yet to be seen, but as a result of this, I am required to sit at my desk for 8 hours. Granted, I get paid to do this, but I'd rather be home relaxing and reading than sitting at my desk and stewing in my unproductivity. Ahhh, Korea...

sea of japan vs. the east sea...are you kidding me?

2009-10-19T21:31:00.001-07:00

It's been a while since I last posted. I've had quite a ride in the past seven months. A condensed version of the events would be as follows: crazzzzzzzzzy co-teacher with control issues; inundated with work; falling in love; going to southeast asia and getting robbed there; going home and visiting with family before embarking on another year in korea...Are you caught up yet?

My second year started rather strangely with a quarantine for the swine flu (I luckily didn't have it) and working full-time at one school. It's rather curious how the Koreans have been taking all of this H1N1 fever...no pun intended. At first they blamed "foreigners" for carrying the flu to Korea. The irony was that it wasn't our fault. It was a Korean nun who had traveled to Mexico that introduced this rather "sterile" country to the "cheeson plu". And the subsequent infections can be directly attributed to the lack of hygiene of Korean people; spitting all over the place (even inside nice buildings); coughing and sneezing without covering their mouths; and the best offense of all, eating too much kimchi as a means to ward themselves from the flu. We can only hope for some sensible reasoning to be graced upon these people.

I've grown more annoyed with time at the "Korean" way of life. I understand that I came here on my own volition, but I'm still constantly befudled by their odd way of thinking and their constant reluctance to accept anything other than their perspective. The distended, Korean ego has even affected their way of looking at a globe. Today in the office while I was taking inventory of the books that I donated, I came across this Time magazine world atlas. Inside the atlas, the map of East Asia included the Korean peninsula and of course their archnemesis, Japan. Much to the dismay of my fervently proud principal, the sea east of the Korean peninsula was recognized as "The Sea of Japan" in the book. He chided me for purchasing a book that didn't name the sea "The East Sea". According to many Koreans, the "East Sea" is THEIR property...so don't forget that you fool!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sea_of_Japan_naming_dispute

So what is the lesson learned? Never buy and donate atlases to a Korean school for you will come off as an impertinent, insensitive reprobate that has no clue that Korea is the CENTER of the world and that the "East Sea" is Korean property and NOT Japan's.

stereotypes

2009-03-12T20:32:00.000-07:00

today i was bored in the office and i started to do a search for genetic testing laboratories. what i found was rather offensive http://www.gtldna.com/sendtoday.html why is it that minorities are portrayed as baby mamas or baby daddys? that's just royally messed up.

too cool for skool

2009-02-17T04:42:00.001-08:00

wrapping up the school year has been quite interesting and boring at the same time. we have no lessons to teach so i've been warming my desk chair for the past 2 weeks. luckily, i was able to have story-time with 3rd graders and take pictures with them. hope the new school year brings some busy-work for me to do...

Korea, Take 2

2009-01-25T19:09:00.001-08:00

ok i'm back and forcing myself to enjoy the delights of the korean mountains. yesterday i went hiking at gyeryongsan. the views: spectacular. the hike: challenging. the cold: hated it! but totally worth freezing my toes and fingers.

S L A C K E R

2009-01-13T09:35:00.000-08:00

yes, i'm guilty as charged. but i have my reasons for not posting in months. 1) i was confronted with difficulties at work 2) i was having a hard time adjusting to korean life 3) i had ZERO motivation after all of these things transpired. my morale was hitting almost rock bottom and frankly, i didn't feel as though writing about korea wasn't worth the effort.

ok, so it's a new year and i need to start fresh. for starters, i will climb more often and post more beautiful pictures of the korean landscape. it's definitely worth the trip. and i will also post with more frequency.

i am happy to report that i went home during winter break. it was worth every penny of my plane ticket. even though i had been hankering to go on a brief sojourn to southeast asia, i figured that it could wait. i was terribly fatigued and couldn't stand being in asia much longer. so it was a great surprise to all that i returned home and i've truly come to appreciate everything and everyone in my life.

happy new year to all!

back to basics

2008-09-18T01:23:00.001-07:00

this past weekend i re-introduced myself to climbing/the outdoors. and being that i haven't touched rock or even plastic rock in a while, my body was aching. however, i did try multi-pitch climbing and i'm more motivated to climb now that i'm in a country that consists of 70% mountains. it was great to play with my footwork and look for hidden holds here and there. and of course it was even better to have a picture taken of my derriere waddling up the climb ;)...at last, i'm back!

asian assimilation

2008-09-06T17:51:00.001-07:00

it has occurred to me that two weeks have gone by and i feel as though i've been here for months. i never thought that i would feel at home so soon much less enjoy my mini solo excursions out into the sea of koreans that flood the streets lined with signs in hangul that one can barely read.

my days this week have been spent getting accustomed to my new employment. thus far, it seems to be an entertaining job. i'm treated like a rock-star in both noeun elementary and bakwoon elementary. their warm reception has made it easier for me to wake up early in the morning and feel motivated to teach. the hallways are filled with kids shyly approaching me to say hello but for fear that i would respond or start a conversation they scurry off like little mice, giggling and telling their fellow classmates about me. the kids that are daring enough to talk to me ask me if i could take a picture with them as if i were a celebrity (minus the crotch showing and booze-induced erratic behavior)! and others try to communicate with me in their cute broken english..."teacher diana, you so beautiful! america, i like!" god, all of this attention is such an ego boost! i recommend coming to korea if you're in need of that.

as for the classes, they were at first soooo long, minutes going by in slow-motion, because frankly i didn't know what the hell i was doing. but as each day went by i got into the groove of things and felt less flustered or terrified of making mistakes. it's funny because i still don't know what i'm doing (don't think i ever will..hehe) and pray that i don't screw up. at least i have the support of my fellow co-workers who have been so patient and kind with me.

aside from school, i've noticed an odd thing about korean culture. once i disclose my age (26 in american years and 27 in korean years), people start trying to set me up with their sons. very few koreans have commended me on making the trek to their country to teach children. the major consensus is that i'm at the age that i should be looking for a husband, hence i should have stayed in the united states to embark on that endeavor. what the hell man! so far, i've been approached by two co-workers listing their sons' attributes as if they were pieces of property, "my son is 29, lives in japan, is an engineer, and loves to travel. and my other son is 31, lives in australia, is an agricultral expert, and in visiting this november. i will introduce you to him. you are a beatiful girl." to which i reply, "oh, you must be very proud of him" and completely ignoring the fact that i'm being sold-off to marriage by a complete stranger. another co-worker of mine was more pushy and she just came out and said, "you are beautiful. you come to my home. you meet son. he has music PhD. work in frankfurt orchestra. and 30 years old." ok, to me this sounds more like a classified listing for an apartment...2 bdr, 1 bath, a lot of light, very good location, great amenities, etc. i'll just hide in the janitor's closet next time i run into them.

but in the end, despite all these social idiosyncrasies, i'm elated to see that i'm a now a working girl with her own adorable apartment, in a city that is slowly becoming my city. all i have to do is look down my street to see a mountain or look around and see the hanguk culture that i've lovingly embraced.

jet-lagged, riced-out, and gassy

2008-08-23T17:16:00.000-07:00

first impressions are quite important, right? well my first impression of this country is...less than pleasant. i have never missed "white-people" or the sound of english more than now. i've been in korea for 5 1/2 hours and man, do i feel homesick! i'm so homesick that as i look at the departure times for flights heading to new york city, i'm feeling tempted to just hop on one of them and give up on this "choose your own adventure" experiment of mine.

thus far, i've been getting by with hand gestures and over pronounced speech ("h-o-w-m-u-c-h-f-o-r-a-p-h-o-n-e-c-a-r-d?" *insert universal gesture for a telephone). after getting in around 3:30am, all i wanted was a shower, so i embarked on an adventure to find one. i ended up in a spa/sauna (yes, they have SPAS in their airport!) to refresh myself and take yet another nap. what i got instead was an awful glare from the locker room attendant for brushing my teeth at the sink (apparently you should brush your teeth in the shower) and nasty scowls from the other women in the locker room because i'm not korean or look predominately asian...man, what a faux-pas! the irony of it all was these women were bare-naked giving me the stare down when it is i who should be bothered by their bare-bottoms. but on the bright side, the spa was beyond luxurious for the price you pay. oh did i mention its near immaculate condition? it's so clean that you can eat off the floor!

but what i truly miss right now beside the "white-people" who don't show their bare-bottoms while giving nasty looks, is my favorite breakfast of organic yogurt, fresh fruit, and organic granola. all that is offered for breakfast, snack, lunch, afternoon snack and dinner is f'n kimchi. i truly enjoy the dish back home, but man, i'm already sick of it. it's as though the koreans set out to make every possible dish out of fermented cabbage, and they succeeded at the task. kudos to them, but too much cabbage for me. i hate being this closed-minded/american...i'll get over it.

ok, i don't know whose cute idea it was to serve kimchi on a 14 1/2 hour plane ride, but it is not settling well in my stomach. i think i just have to get used to it or maybe i should just avoid kimchi all together because i'm walking around super bloated and gassy, yet another faux-pas.

PS: my next post will have actual pictures that i've taken. right now, my camera is buried under 50 lbs of clothes...until next time

i'm free at last, i'm free at last, thank god all mighty i'm free at last!

2008-08-19T08:12:00.000-07:00

sunday was my last day at starbucks (or as glen lovingly calls it star'fucks'). i've been emancipated from the pungent odors of coffee. no longer will i permeate the smell of coffee or wake up at god-awful hours to serve it. don't get me wrong, i've had fun along the way, but now onto korea ;)

"the help"

2008-08-10T18:44:00.000-07:00

'reunited and it feels so good...'

charlottesville, VA

this little utopia in the middle of rural virginia was a great place to meet up with my bff jean-paul. we spent most of our time eating like gluttons, whining about the sparseness of the rutgers campus compared to UVA campus, playing scrabble, and settling back into our normal childish banter.

i couldn't help but notice the stark difference in people's attitudes down in the "south". virginians, and i'm assuming almost anyone south of new jersey, are super sweet and are always sincere when they say (with a southern draw) "and y'all have a nice day!" as opposed to the dirty jerzey way "yeah have a great day (you piece of shit)".

having this in mind, i was greatly amused by this one incident that occurred at starbucks last week. i was busy stocking when a gentleman attempted to make a joke about me. his wife quickly chided him saying, "honey, stop bothering the help!"...the HELP?!? since when was i demoted from a barista to an amoeba? i wanted to say something in response and out of sheer disgust to this ridiculous comment, but i just walked away.

alas, as they were walking out, all i could say was "y'all have a nice day!"...i guess i didn't have the jerzey in me to say "have a great day (you silly bitch)".

notary what?

2008-06-27T14:30:00.000-07:00

in this laborious process of ensuring that i'm not a criminal, i had to take a day trip down to trenton to acquire an apostille for the background check. now, according to the hague convention of 1961(?) this is a super fancy verification of the legality of the documents presented...kind of cool right? i get this official looking piece of paper with all this stuff printed on it and i walk away feeling pretty damn important. however, i didn't feel that special when i had to fork over $60 to the crazy state clerk. man, i think i need to become a notary public and make my fortune there.

criminal background check

2008-06-17T07:16:00.000-07:00

I've been waiting for this silly background check for a while now. I know that I've been a law-abiding citizen up until now, yet I can't seem to shake this uneasy feeling that some "secret" past might be revealed. Maybe in my sleep I robbed a house? Maybe that shoplifting stint in 7th grade might come back to haunt me? Or maybe big brother was watching me while I bought bags of weed from the crack corner in Newark? Who knows?

eaux de vie, mutant cockroaches, and the "fz"

2008-06-14T08:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was quite the delightful NYC outing. It consisted of a teetotaler mistakenly ordering raspberry flavored brandy, giant cockroaches crawling under tables and causing slight havoc, and an enlightening discussion about the dreaded "friend zone" where I confessed to having had a slight crush on my best friend when we were in our freshman year of college. (He would eventually come out to me 6 years later)

I met up with Pilarita for some art appreciation...the "Heavy Light" Japanese photo exhibit to be exact. It's always fun to admire the work artists, but it's more enjoyable with great company. There were some extremely disorienting pieces by Asako Narahshi. She apparently floats in the water taking these pictures as if we were the midst of a natural disaster. I give it two enthusiastic thumbs up.

Dinner in the meat-packing district was exciting to say the least. We waited an hour and a half for a table, meanwhile we bar-hopped and people watched. This trendy area attracted all sorts of "cucarachas". We had the high-heeled variety, that no matter how rocky the terrain, they managed to strut their stuff in 4-5 inch heels. We had the wall-street variety, always dressed in perfectly pressed shirts and pinstripe suits. And then we had the crawling at your feet variety...which isn't so appealing when you're eating dinner. This incited a rather humorous, yet enlightening conversation on how to torture cockroaches that "invade" your space. Among the torture methods mentioned, the newspaper mallet and the peg and light seemed to be the most efficient. I have a sneaking suspicion that these are common methods used by the CIA...

And the night wouldn't be complete, without my menu faux-pas. Reading the carte de boissons, I thought that they were offereing raspberry flavored mineral water after I read "eaux de vie". I found it odd that the waitress asked me if I wanted it "on the rocks" in French, and I agreed that I wanted my "eaux de vie" on the rocks. Much to my chagrin, the waitress brought back a cup of raspberry flavored brandy, which JP painfully drank throughout the meal. I think I need to brush up on my French. Or at least my knowledge of bistro offerings.